Trapped in Love

Once again I am caught within my web of my own design. How did this happen again? I sit here asking myself when I already know the answer. Yes, I wanted it. I wanted to fall in love again. I wanted to feel something. Anything, really… I wanted to remember what it is like to desire a special one’s touch to which no one else’s touch will do. I wanted to remember what it is like to cherish another’s sweet kiss like a treasure. I wanted to remember what it is like to have a moment with someone and mentally take a picture of it just so I can conjure up the same feelings that I felt, for later. And as I conjure up the memories of that period without the knowledge that there may never be another instance such as that one, I feel pangs of sadness for having to end them to rejoin the real world. Those moments are forever trapped within a bubble in my mind as I suffer with sudden trifles of madness and gloom. I remember fondly how I reached out to you. And you answered to me lovingly. I called your name and you reminded me that you were still there. I felt a fear and you calmed it with just a look into my eyes and a wave of your hands. All my doubts and worries were no more. I was loved and was being loved. Such gentleness like I had never known that is what you were. I had often dealt with rage and anger and spite but hardly have I had gentleness. You waited for me with patience and I didn’t disappoint. I couldn’t disappoint you. You are everything that inspires me. You are that extra zest that gives me appeal. I feel full and drunk with love that my feet would follow your every direction. I find that whenever I walk away, my breath becomes short and my steps become heavy. I get weary so fast when I don‘t see you. My few mistakes become many and I feel as if I have lost my own way. So here I lie across my bed with my head tipping over the side of it looking at a world that is upside down. I am at a marvel at how trapped I am but glad because in this bubble I will remain with you as a memory while outside you are not in that world. Maybe one day you may be there and when you are, I will come out. But for now I am safe and I hear you calling me….Here I am, my Love.